My talk at the Deaf Center

In the first trimester of mom's pregnancy with me, my brother Christian, 7 at the time picked up the rubella virus at school. My mother was exposed to it. Knowing this virus could be dangerous to the fetus, she consulted with her doctor. He suggested Gamma Globulin injections with the hope to weaken the virus. There was no guarantee that there would not be any damage, but it was worth a try. To this day my mother believes the injections did help a great deal or I could have been born with many other serious birth defects as well.

I was a very loud baby.  For example, I would squeal loudly if I got excited at a store seeing some toys or color I was interested in.  It was the only way I could hear myself.  People used to look at my mother and think what is wrong with that baby!  The first time she thought something was wrong with my hearing was when I played with a musical toy.  She noticed after winding up the toy I would put it up to my ear to listen to it.  It was a very loud musical toy and my mother thought it was strange that I put it right up to my ear.  A few days later, I didn’t respond to my mother calling out my name as I was walking down the hallway.  She was standing right next to me and thought I was ignoring her like babies do sometimes.  Another day, she heard me waking up in my crib so she went in to get me up and I was facing away from the door, I did not hear the door open and her walking across the floor and she clapped her hands right above me and then she knew for certain there was something wrong. 

I didn’t get hearing aids until I was 3 years old.  No one in Wilmington, Delaware believed I had a hearing impairment!  They said I might have a slight hearing loss, but there won’t be anything I need help with.  In those days it was difficult to test a baby for hearing issues.  She went to see several audiologists until someone at St. Christopher’s Hospital in Philadelphia finally believed her.  They put electrodes on my skin and made sounds with little shocks.  It was just a tiny shock enough for me to notice.  It was the only way they could tell if I could respond to shock with sound and then when they took away the shock I didn’t respond to the sounds.  They kept testing over and over until it was discovered I had a severe hearing loss.  It was at that hospital they discussed the possibility of wearing hearing aids.  They warned my mother that I would not like the hearing aids because everything would be so loud and there would be a lot of confusion.  That did not come true in my situation.  I was delighted and excited and so happy to hear sounds. When I first got them, I thought they were magic toys!  I was so excited to hear all these sounds.  The first sound that I discovered was the toaster.  I didn’t know that water coming out of the faucet made noise and I pointed to the faucet and looked at my mother with excitement.  When it was bedtime, I did not want to take out my hearing aids because I loved the sounds I was hearing. 

My mother went on to educated herself using hearing and speech therapy without the convenience of the internet and used all kinds of resources she could get her hands on.  She talked to audiologists, speech therapists and school teachers and they did show her the way to begin teaching me how to talk.  She took classes at the John Tracey Clinic.  My mother used exercise lessons from a handbook received in the mail every month to teach me.  This began my journey of learning to talk.  I love President Lincoln’s quote, “All that I am and all that I’ve become I owe to my mother.”  She would get up bright and early before anyone else in the family awoke.  She had a couple of items laid out in front of me and tell me what they were.  One of the items was an apple and she would tell me to say the word apple and use hand gestures to show me how to say the P letter with my hand in front of my mouth to feel the P sounds.  She managed to get me to say my first word, SHOE.  I was very eager and happy to learn and with the aids on, it opened up new possibilities for me.  By the time I got to middle school, I no longer needed speech therapy lessons. 

The first school I attended was the Margaret School for the Deaf and a teacher there thought I could do better at normal hearing schools.  While attending normal hearing schools, I had help from special education teachers who came to my home to go over the lessons I brought home from school.  This went on up to when I started middle school.  All through middle school and high school, a tutor would come to the school and go over some classes I was struggling with. 

My goal is to help you gain a better understanding of the hearing-impaired population and with that knowledge you will become better at communicating with the deaf and hard of hearing.

Here is a true story to start with.  I was at work helping this woman submit an application and she was talking to me when I wasn’t looking at her.  I heard her talking, but I could not discriminate what she said.  I explained to her about my hearing problem and that I needed to read lips.  The next time she decided to tell me something, she cupped her hands around her mouth and started to shout.  Well, it was a laughing matter to me and my co-workers at the office.          

I was born deaf in the left ear and 40% hearing in the right ear.  Here is a copy of my audio gram to explain the severity of my hearing loss to you more clearly. (See picture below)  This shaded area is normal hearing.  The zero mark is my good ear and the x mark is my bad ear.  The A mark is what I can hear with the hearing aid on.  As you can see the hearing aid improves my hearing 20% and lip reading will support another 20% including the 40% hearing I already have adds up to an 80% improvement.

 

It is difficult for a non-handicapped person to fully understand what it is like to be born with the limitations of a disability.  Anyone born with hearing limitations is denied an important skill of developing language skills through hearing.  My special education teacher in junior high called this a “hidden” obstacle of deafness.  Before normal hearing people learned to read, they learned to speak thousands of words, phrases, sentences, ways to ask for things, respond to things, voice emotions, and express feelings.  All of this is learned through normal hearing.  It is learned through hearing other people speak, radio, television, CD’s, and telephone.  Deaf people lack communication skills because we do not hear these things.  The deaf and hearing impaired are taught in special programs what we did not learn through hearing.  We have to be taught the whole English language visually.  There are hearing aids to help us hear somewhat but none can replace a normal ear.  With normal hearing you can describe the lilting song of a bird, the whistling of a wind in a forest, the intricate melodies of a full symphony orchestra.  These are some examples I cannot describe to someone because I never heard it and I can’t see it visually.  A person born normal who loses their hearing later in life will at least have some memory of sound experiences. 

Here are some helpful tips when communicating with a hard of hearing individual.  Face the hard of hearing person directly, and on the same level with him/her, whenever possible.  If you are eating, chewing, smoking, etc., while talking, your speech will be more difficult to understand.  Keep your hands away from your face while talking.  Reduce background  noises when carrying on conversations-turn off the radio or TV.  Recognize that hard of hearing people hear and understand less well when they are tired or ill.  Never talk from another room.  Be sure to get the person's attention before you start speaking to him/her.  Speak in a normal fashion without shouting.  See that the light is not shining in the eyes of the hard of hearing person.  If a person has difficulty understanding something, find a different way of saying the same thing, rather than repeating the original words over and over.

I’d like to recommend a book, “Hearing with my Heart” by Justin Osmond.  He is a nephew of Donny and Marie Osmond.  Justin is the son of Merrill Osmond who was one of the singers.  He was born deaf and can wear hearing aids.  Justin’s book about his life story is very similar to my life story except I did not learn to play the violin like he did.  He is a remarkable young man.  When I read his book I thought to myself, “That is my life!”  I envy his job of traveling all over the world and give hearing aids to children and adults who cannot afford to purchase hearing aids.  That would be my dream job to help people hear with hearing aids.  It has blessed my life.  I am very grateful I can hear with a hearing aid.  Without it, I am deaf.  With the aid on, I can appreciate music, sounds and hearing other people converse.  The aid helps me to connect with the hearing world and communicate with others.