Joshua's Birthday

Joshua’s birthday

When I found out I was pregnant, I had looked at a pamphlet about pregnancy.  The pamphlet discussed what foods to eat month by month during the course of the pregnancy and it was fascinating to see pictures of what the baby would look like inside the womb each month.  I felt very motivated and encouraged to eat healthy foods and exercise properly.  Like everyone else, it was so important to me that I do the best that I could to take care of myself to produce a healthy baby.  I took this very seriously and was diligent at this task.  It was almost like training for the Olympics!  Being hearing impaired myself, I especially hoped and prayed for a normal healthy baby.

It was at this time I had a job teaching aerobics classes at my father’s health club.  I continued teaching during the whole pregnancy.

 

I was crazy to be wearing a long sleeve turtleneck shirt and long sweatpants!

The customers were concerned that I was hurting the baby, but I had doctor’s permission to go ahead and exercise.  I wasn’t worried because I knew it was healthy for the baby.  I followed my doctor’s advice to not overexert myself.  There was no reason to worry because I was a young, healthy and strong woman.  When the pregnancy came close to the end, I was getting very anxious and excited to meet our baby.  Jim (my ex) and I were fascinated with the whole experience of having a baby. 

Close to 9 months.  Hey, don't laugh.  Leotards and tights were popular then!

What the human body experiences during pregnancy never ceases to amaze me.  It gave me a new appreciation of God’s magnificent creation of our incredibly functioning human bodies.  It was truly an amazing experience watching a baby grow inside my womb.  At around the 7^th or 8^th month, the baby kicked and moved around quite a bit and I remembered that it worried me.  Call me naive, but I was concerned that the baby would get all tangled up with the umbilical cord and choke.  It was a horrible thought and I worried about that a lot.  I know it was silly of me.  We chose to keep the sex of the baby unknown because we wanted that to be a surprise.  Joshua came two weeks early.  There was a small part of me that worried it was too early, but I was reassured that this was normal.  The night of Joshua’s birth, Jim and I had just finished a lasagna dinner at my parent’s home.  I was tired and wanted to go home to bed, but I started having cramps and my mother recognized that I was going into labor.  I had to pinch myself to see if this was real and happening!  But it was happening when I wanted to shut my eyes and sleep!  No such thing a convenient time to have a baby.  I remember thinking I had better get ready for many nights when the baby cries in the middle of the night. 

We were so excited to meet our baby!  Is it going to be a boy or a girl?  What is the baby going to look like?  Is it going to be normal and healthy?  If it was going to be a girl, I hoped the baby would look like me of course.  If the baby was going to be a boy, I hoped the baby would look like Jim.  Well, Josh is a spitting image of his dad.  Seriously, he looks nothing like me.  Honestly, I felt like I had to tell everyone that I am his birth mother!  I also wondered if I was going to go through a difficult and hard labor and delivery.  My parents drove us to the Baltimore Memorial Hospital.  The labor was about 6 hours long.  My water didn’t break until the last 2 hours.  When the water broke, I was grateful to be at the hospital.  I heard horror stories of labor pains, but honestly it wasn’t as bad as I thought.  I didn’t require or want any drugs for the labor delivery.  Hey, we've all seen screaming women on television and movies...nope that doesn't happen in real life. It wasn’t until after the baby was born then the pain came when the local anesthesia wore off.  No one warned me about this part.  The part of labor that I found difficult was to hold off the urgency of pushing until instructed to do so.  The pushing phase wasn’t very long, I'm guessing probably a little over an hour?  When I was allowed to start pushing, I pushed to the best of my ability.  It didn't feel to me that the baby had moved at all, but the doctor and nurses told me that I was doing a great job.  I pushed so hard that my face turned red.  Jim commented that I had the face of a power lifter benching 300 pounds!  I think he was kinda proud of me.  (Those of you who don’t know Jim, he was a power lifter at the time and still is.)  There were no complications, however my blood pressure did go up but it didn’t appear threatening.  Joshua’s foot position in my rib cage was uncomfortable.  He was a big baby.   

I remember thinking I’ll be glad to have my body back to myself again.  I was blessed with a strong healthy body, but I believe a large part of the reason that my pregnancy didn’t involve sickness or difficulties is due to exercise and nutrition.  At the time though I didn’t realize how much of a difference it would actually make but looking back on this experience I know it did help.  Click here at:  http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3976657  or http://huff.to/18nOFOT  for an interesting article from Heidi Powell’s experience with and without exercise and nutrition.  Her first two pregnancies were difficult but her last two pregnancies were much easier due to exercise and nutrition.

Our healthy baby boy weighed in at 9 pounds and 2 ounces and was 21 inches long.  He was born two days before Christmas.  This was by far the best Christmas present I could ever receive!  I’m so grateful that Jim remembered his camera and took pictures of this special day.

I hold them dearly to my heart.  My doctor was very surprised because during visits when she measured the growth of my belly she estimated the baby was going to be of average size.  Just imagine, he was born two weeks early, how much bigger Joshua would have been?  I’ll never forget the first time I nursed Joshua.  I must have missed this part in the pamphlet of nursing.  I surely was not prepared.  I was shocked that a tiny baby’s mouth could be so strong!  I was also amazed that a baby knew what to do.  The nursing, how incredibly bonding it was!  The single most beautiful link I had to falling in love with this blessed angel.  I became a mom just less than three weeks shy of turning 21 years old.  Jim was 25.  

We wondered if I could be released from the hospital because it was Christmas Eve and I wanted to be home.  Thankfully, everything checked out good and I was cleared to leave.  Walking out of the hospital was not an easy task as I was experiencing pain from the episiotomy.  There was no way I could have walked out of the hospital without assistance.  I winced with every step I took with Jim by my side.  I was not prepared for this type of pain.
 

The first weeks of feeding Joshua were sweet and hilarious at times.  While nursing, Joshua would start to fuss every time there was talking.  He wanted absolutely no talking while he was eating.  So, I learned to be real quiet.  Oftentimes in the mornings, I was blessed with an abundance of milk and ready to burst.  I was glad to be rid of it when the baby was ready to eat again.  It was a welcome relief!  One of those mornings, Joshua’s eyes grew very big as he was drowning with too much milk coming at him so fast.  The milk was spilling out of the corner of his mouth!  It was hilarious and it was very hard for me to keep quiet.  Then while burping Joshua, he burped the loudest burp ever heard from a newborn!  Oh, the joys of motherhood and how rich he made my life!  He was such a beautiful baby boy that I could not stop staring at him while he napped.

He grew up so fast, it felt like I was cupping my hands, attempting to hold water when it just trickled through my fingers and there was nothing I could do to keep it there.  I love my son something fierce.  I fell in love caring for a sweet baby boy!  Never could I have imagined the joy he would bring me.  I loved his cookie-sweet cheeks.  In fact, today as a young man, he still has those red rosy cheeks.

Fast forward a few years, I was travelling by train with my mom.  Joshua was now old enough to be talking.  On one particular trip, my mother wanted to know if I would permit her to give Joshua a cookie she had in her purse.  She tried to do this secretively by saying to me, “Can Joshua have a C O O K I E?” spelling out the word.  My response was, “After dinner.”  When Joshua finished eating his dinner he said, “Okay, can I have that cookie now?”  He was around 2 ½ -3 yrs old.  We were very surprised at this because we thought Joshua was certainly too young to know how to spell.  We think watching Sesame Street had something to do with it.  We realized that not only he was a healthy boy, he was also very bright.  I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back, I believe my prayers for a bright child was granted.  I don’t mean to brag, but when he started school we knew his intelligence was going to be a challenge as time went on.  His brain was a sponge absorbing everything that was taught to him.  The experience of parenting brought me a better understanding of my parents and why they raised me the way they did.  My parents were challenged to raise a child with special needs, and personally, I am so grateful for everything they did for me.  I think they did a wonderful job.  The challenge I had was to raise a very bright child, so this required making sure Joshua got the advanced education he needed.  Joshua was 5 years old when Jim and I divorced so, being a hearing impaired and a single mom had additional challenges.  I had to make sure to keep Joshua from getting bored in school with his above average intelligence.  There were times when his intelligence was really mind blowing.  I mean, how did this kid know so much?  Sometimes it was actually kind of scary.  He is now 28 years old and I can't believe it.  It was mean of him to grow up so fast.  He is a wonderful young man and I am very proud of him.  He is a foodie, loves art, photography, books, travelling, music and sports.  He has a great zest for life.  I love him far beyond words could ever express.  I feel so richly blessed to be his mom! 



About 2 or 3 years old

Our Love Story

Our Love Story

I met my wonderful husband Andrew in April 2004.  We had both heard about this group of bike riders that meet once a week and we got on their email list to be included.  It was not a church activity but they were single men and women of the same faith.  On the first day of biking season, we both had arrived early before the others came.  When writing this story, I asked Andrew what his first impression of me was and he said that I looked like some kind of “granola” type girl.  He was thinking I was hot-looking and that he wanted to talk to me.  We were inside our vehicles and I was thinking, “That guy is cute.”  I was hoping he would talk to me and he did!  Andrew made the first move by walking over to my car and introducing himself.  We connected immediately from the first day and I had a very good feeling about him.  I had been having problems with my hearing aid; it was making loud, squealing, feedback sounds.  I explained to Andrew that I wear a hearing aid and when I said it was ringing, he responded with a question, “Do you want me to answer that?”  We broke into a roar of laughter.  It was a clever joke.  He also made fun of my hybrid bike and called it “Wizard of Oz”.  It really wasn’t the right type of bike to be riding uphill on the road.  The guys told me to go on up ahead to get a good head start, but by the time they finally caught up to me, I was much closer to the top of the hill than they had anticipated.  At the end of the ride back to our cars, Andrew and I talked about meeting again at a singles church activity the following week.  We both left liking each other and looking forward to our next meeting. 

All week long, I thought about seeing Andrew again.  At the singles church activity, I met up with him and his friend, Wade.  At first, we mingled and socialized with other people there for a little bit.  A woman that Andrew had dated before was there, and she was sitting next to him but went to go get popcorn.  I noticed an empty seat next to him and sat, not knowing this woman had been sitting there.  He thought the situation was funny because he liked me better and was relieved that this woman didn’t return.  The ward had put together a movie night inside the gymnasium area.  We were advised to bring our own blankets and pillows to get ourselves comfortable and cozy for the showing of the movie.  To show Andrew I was interested in him, I shared my pillow with him, and he smiled happily about that.  At that moment we both knew that our feelings for each other were mutual.  

Andrew talked to me about getting a road bike that I could be riding instead of my “Wizard of Oz” bike.  He explained to me that it would be easier and faster to ride.  Since he is an expert on bikes, I invited him to help me find the right bike.  I didn’t pay very much for the bike, but I was very pleased with it.  When I rode it for the first time uphill, I couldn’t get over how much easier it was!  Andrew enjoyed having someone that could ride with him at his level. 

For our first date, Andrew and I went bike riding one night without the bike group.  He picked me up and loaded up our bikes on the back of his pickup truck and took me up to Emigration Canyon.  After the ride, he invited me to have dinner with him at Ruth’s Diner.  We enjoyed each other’s company immensely and we laughed so much.  (We still do.)  Andrew’s a big-hearted guy and his honesty and openness were what drew me to him.  We became best friends.  We had gone to church together on Sundays, served in church activities together, biked together regularly with the gang, gone camping, visited his cabin, and all kinds of other fun stuff.

At one of the bike rides with the group, we rode up Millcreek Canyon and about halfway up Andrew kissed me right in front of our friends.  They were shocked!  They had no idea we were dating for real, but were thrilled for us.  We now call that spot “The Kissing Point”.

In order for Andrew to see if I was “the one” for him, he took me on a camping trip.  Previously, he had been on camping trips with other girls he dated and they showed their “true colors”, which meant that they weren’t a good fit for him.  My air mattress was leaking air and we did not have a pump with us, so we blew air into the mattress as much as we could taking turns.  It was a lot of effort to do this.  Andrew didn’t seem to have any trouble but I sure did.  My face was turning blue just blowing so hard and it was working against me.  Andrew could see that I was struggling at this.  He laughed at me.  I slept horribly but I didn’t complain.  I told Andrew that I could do a great impersonation of comedy legend Marty Feldman from Young Frankenstein.  He wanted to see that.  So, I popped my eyes out, smiled BIG and walked over to him with a hunched back.  The look on his face told me that I was scaring him away, but we broke out laughing until our stomachs ached. He told me it was funny but not to do it again because he doesn’t want to kiss Marty Feldman.    

On one of our dates, we went to hear my brother Chris play drums in downtown SLC at the Panini Grill restaurant.  This was the place I found that I was “falling for him”.  It must have been that romantic heavenly kiss in the elevator that stole my heart.

The place where Andrew was “falling for me” was at Yanni’s Greek Express in Sugarhouse.  He likes to joke that it was when I said, “Let’s just take the food to my place and eat in front of the TV.”  When he heard me say that, he knew I was the one.   

I had made plans to go to Lake Powell with some friends before Andrew and I met.  It was for a few days stay in a houseboat with a group of singles of our faith.  There was waterskiing and boating involved.  I had already paid for this trip with no refund and so I went to have a good time.  We missed each other.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder.  It was good that I did go, because it was after I came home from that trip that our relationship began to get serious.

Soon, we were talking about marriage and we felt that it was too soon to jump into marriage without asking each other the right questions of what we wanted out of life and what we expected from each other.  We knew we were very much in love, but it had only been 4 months.  Andrew had been divorced 7 years and I had been divorced 13 years and we were concerned that we had been too set in our ways.  We thought it could be hard to live with someone again.  I bought a book, “100 Questions to Ask before You Marry”, and went through these important questions with Andrew.  Afterward, we both felt more ready to marry.  Andrew didn’t want any more children as he had three from his previous marriage.  I had one son and was hoping to have one more but I realized that I was past the age of having any more, well actually I was only 39, but since I had already had a child, I was fine with not having any more kids.  Besides, all of our kids were fully grown.

We had participated in a 100 mile bike ride for the National MS Society.  Andrew wanted to try one of my healthy drinks that I blend in the juicer everyday hoping it would give him the energy for this long ride.  Well, after a while he noticed his breath was the same familiar breath I had.  That didn’t deter him from wanting to marry me!

Even though we decided to marry, we didn’t want any of our friends to know until we were officially engaged.  So, it was hard to keep our engagement a secret like we had talked about.  We could hardly wait to tell everyone.  We looked at rings together and picked out my engagement ring, but the ring needed to be in a smaller size.  We sent it away to get it done.  A week later, Andrew came to my house and met me at the back door.  He showed me the ring and asked, “Will you marry me?”  It wasn’t the most elaborate proposal, but I was so happy and I didn’t care.  In fact, I didn’t know the ring was ready and I was surprised.  It was one of the happiest days of our lives and our decision to marry was the best decision we’ve ever made.

When my son Joshua came to visit, he took our engagement pictures.  It was a wonderful and special day.  Having Joshua there, it was extra special. 

During the time we were engaged, Andrew had a dream about my dad.  It was at this time my dad had passed away 5 years earlier.  He never saw a picture of my father and I hadn’t told him that my dad liked to play cards.  Well, he dreamt that he was playing cards with a group of men, which was weird because Andrew doesn’t play cards.  He didn’t recognize the group of men at the table except one gentleman and somehow knew it was my father.  My dad got up and walked around the table to greet Andrew and gave him a sincere hug.  Andrew told me and my mother of his dream and we were filled with tears and gratitude.  It was amazing!  We believe that it was my dad accepting Andrew to be my husband.  It confirmed our engagement all the more.  It was such a beautiful and simple dream.

After 6 months of dating, Andrew and I had married civilly and then worked on becoming sealed in the temple later.  I asked my mother if she would like to plan our wedding.  She was so glad to help.  My mother absolutely loves Andrew to death.  I was so grateful for her help in preparing our wedding day.  She was more experienced and better at this than I ever would be.  She has a knack for interior decorating, and even though her back was hurting very much during the later stages of planning, she still managed to do a great job.  That’s how amazing she is.  Thanks to other family members that helped.  I’m also grateful for my darling niece Heather who took my bridal pictures.  They came out beautiful. 

She was going to take pictures of the wedding but her 2^nd baby was born on our wedding day.  She managed to get a friend to fill in for her.  Thanks to the photographers who dropped everything to come through for our wedding day!  An accident with the cake topper fell off the cake and it broke the groom’s head.  Andrew worried it was a bad sign, but we can see now that our marriage is wonderful.  I was feeling calm and cool as a cucumber, but when walking down the aisle, I started to get emotional and having a hard time in keeping cool.  Andrew was feeling a little bit nervous and excited.  However, when we locked our eyes at the backdrop archway area, we couldn’t help but smile, and felt totally relaxed.  The wedding took place at the LDS Mountain View Ward church building located at 1889 South 1700 East Sugarhouse.  It was very close to my mother’s home on Wilson Avenue and it made it easier for her to get to when planning the wedding.  Because Andrew knew of my healthy eating habits, he worried he wasn’t going to eat fatty foods ever again.  So, he ate everything in sight and gained 10 pounds before the wedding!  My brother Vinny almost did not make it to the wedding and I was so happy to have him at the wedding.  It wouldn’t be the same without him.  I was also very grateful that my son Joshua flew in to SLC from Georgia.  Since my dad had passed on, I asked Joshua to take my dad’s place and walk me down the aisle and give me away. 

It meant so much to me for him to be there.  If they had not come, it would have been bittersweet.  So, we kept the cost of the wedding to a minimum and we were glad we did.  My wedding dress was $500.00 and the wedding amounted $1,500.  Not too bad compared to many other weddings we’ve heard that went overboard.  We had our wonderful Bishop Jeffrey Slatter from the Monument Park singles ward marry us.  We left the chapel forgetting to sign our marriage papers and we joked afterwards that we were having an affair before we got married.

We spent our honeymoon night at the Red Lion Hotel and the next morning took a 4 day cruise to Catalina Island and Ensenada, Mexico.  It was our very first cruise.  We made friends on the ship and had a fantastic time.  For our one year anniversary, we went to an all- inclusive trip to Cancun. 

It rained almost every day, but two weeks after we got home from that trip, hurricane Wilma hit Cancun.  Wilma was the most powerful tropical storm ever recorded on the Atlantic Basin.  We were so grateful we escaped from that terrible storm.  After two years of marriage, the day of our sealing at the Bountiful Temple had finally arrived and it was the best day ever.  I shed so many tears on this most joyous day of being sealed to my husband for eternity.  There are simply no words to express how much this meant to both of us.  

We stayed overnight at the Grand America Hotel to celebrate and repeated our honeymoon cruise trip to Catalina Island and Ensenada, Mexico.  We have been happily married 9 years now.  I love what L. Whitney Clayton had to say about marriage, "Marriage is a gift from God to us; the quality of our marriage is a gift from us to Him."  We feel very blessed.  He still makes my heart skip a beat.  My “best days” are all really simple; just days when my husband and I spend the whole day together.

My Dad's Life Story

                                                             

                                                                DAD

            My father, Donald Vaun Parry, was born on May 15^th, 1936 in Ogden, UT.  He had black wavy hair and was a very cute little boy.  His parents had had a daughter before him, but she passed away of a ruptured appendix at age three.  A little sister came along after my father, and they named her Elaine. 

My father was born in the church and was baptized, but as he got older fell away from the church and became somewhat of a rebel, getting into mischief early on.  When my father was ten, there was a polio epidemic, and doctors encouraged parents to keep their children inside where it was cool.  One very hot day, Donald was at a neighborhood friend’s house.  My mom (who lived two doors down from my father throughout childhood) overheard a neighbor say, “That Parry boy ran outside stark naked!”  His friends had dared him, and Donald never backed down from a dare.  On another occasion, young Donald and his friends snuck onto a prison farm, stole a horse, and rode it until it got stuck in the mud. 

Although Donald was a bit of a troublemaker, he was always polite and respectful to others and was generally well liked.  Don was also highly intelligent and resourceful, showing a knack for entrepreneurship from an early age.  At 11, he made money selling donuts door-to-door in his neighborhood.  At 14, he got his first job as a bagger at a grocery store.  By 17, he was manager of the produce department, and it was at this time he and my mother, Rae, were married.  By age 20, he had worked his way all the way up to store manager.   Eventually, he got tired of the grocery business and started working at different health clubs and learning everything about the business. He was one of the pioneers of the health club industry.  From there he managed the clubs and kept advancing until ultimately he decided he’d rather be running his own clubs.  This was about the time I was born.  He designed his dream health club, enlisted the help of an architect so, and financed the business through investors that believed in his ideas.  Dad’s creativity was a large part of his success, and despite having no formal education in the field of architecture, he was the visionary who designed each and every one of his clubs.  His buildings were unlike any others, both inside and out, and at one point he owned 10 different state-of-the-art health clubs. 

It was during this time period I would beg my dad to read to me a book called, “Song of the South” and it was his Br’er Rabbit’s voice that made the book come to life.  I also loved his impersonation of Donald Duck.  It was a special time I had with my dad.  So, the health club business remained successful for 20 years until the State of New York passed a law which made all health club contracts invalid.  Without enough capital to finance its own contracts, the business was about to fail.  Joe, one of Dad’s partners, convinced him that if he signed over his stock in the business Joe could go to bankers out of town and get the money they needed to keep the business afloat.  Joe never intended to sign over the stock back to my dad.  He simply took the money and chained the locks at all of the spas and sold the business.  The new owners did not know how to run the business without my dad’s involvement and six months later, it went bankrupt.  On the evening when he signed over the contracts to Joe, he had a funny feeling and became depressed and said to my mother, “I think I may have just sold our future down the river.”  From that day on, he struggled to get back on top again.  He didn’t invest much money into savings while he was successful, so we had some money to carry us for a little while, but not enough to start a new business from scratch.  He had to start over in his late thirties.  We left New York to live in Las Vegas and this was when he decided to earn his living as a gambler.  He was very good at it and he learned how to count cards before the casinos caught onto that.  For two years he was successful at this.  Then life as a gambler became very boring to him, and he began to consider going back into business for himself again, but even after leaving Las Vegas, he always loved to play cards on his desk while watching sports on TV. 

My father always wanted to live his life to the fullest, and had many indulgent habits. His food choices were often high in fat, and he ate few vegetables, preferring instead basic salads loaded with dressing.  In addition to eating unhealthy foods, he drank alcohol and smoked cigarettes excessively.  This habit started getting worse after he lost his business in New York City.  He was obviously trying to dull the heartache he was going through.  His excesses may have not been in the best interest of his health, but it was how he dealt with the stress of each day, and he was never a mean or irresponsible drunk.  My father also loved jazz and had an extensive collection of records he used to enjoy immensely.  His favorite way to unwind after work was with a great album.  The instant the needle would hit the record, he would close his eyes and take in the music to his heart’s soul.  He would just snap his fingers and bob his head low against his chest.  He had always had a dream of opening up a jazz night club, and decided San Francisco would be a good place to do it.  After searching the bay area for awhile, he found a beat-up old basement space which looked promising.  Upon researching the history of the space, it turned out that it had been a very famous jazz venue called The Dawn Club where popular musicians of that time had played.  How fitting for my Dad!  So he, two of my older brothers, and a few friends and construction workers started the process of restoring the building to its original glamour.  They uncovered marble stairs, mahogany walls, stained glass windows, and beautiful chandeliers.  When the renovation was finished, he named the new club Cherries.  In the first eight months of business, Cherries already had big names such as Woody Herman, Jackie & Roy Krall, and many of the top Jazz musicians from San Francisco playing its stage.  Once again though, due to state government control, the business was put into jeopardy because of the lack of capital needed to meet some vague building code requirements.  Although he had gotten an inspection and business license before opening up the restaurant, Cherries was in the basement of a tall building and the fire department demanded that my dad install a flue from the basement all the way to the top of a 35 story building, and wouldn’t let him open the restaurant for business until the project was finished.  The cost for the flue was $50,000 dollars and he simply didn’t have the money, so once again, the government put him out of business. 

            My dad had a set of weights in the garage of our home in Sausalito, but it dawned on me that although he had operated many health clubs over the years, I had never seen him exercise.  I believe it was simply because he could not find the time due to the many hours he put into building his career in the health club industry. 

            We left San Francisco to live in Alexandria, VA.  He was offered a partnership with some of his old business partners in Annapolis, MD.  This health club was about an hour away from where we lived.  Mom worked with him there and it was doing well for four years.  His partners had different ideas about the direction in managing the club.  They wanted to change things around and cheapen the membership there and my dad didn’t agree with it.  Dad had very high standards for his business.  He just left the business believing he would start again on his own.  It was in my senior year and Dad had chosen a location in Reisterstown, MD and pre-sales were underway for a few months when he learned he had a brain tumor.  This had changed our lives dramatically as we had no income and only had $27,000 in savings to both hold us over and get his new business started.  Also, my mother’s back had gone out and was laid up for a month.  It was so bad that for awhile, she couldn’t go to work to help support the family.  It was a devastating time.  Dad underwent brain surgery and radiation treatment.  It was successful and he was able to recover enough to return back to work, although he was never really the same person again.  The operation on his brain had taken away much of his drive.  His personality also changed a little and he was more laid back due to the effects of surgery and medication.

             Nicole’s Spa Salon was born and this became a family business.  My mother and I worked there.  His sister Elaine taught aerobic classes in Salt Lake City and he requested that she produce exercise videos for the club.  I was a Nautilus and aerobics instructor and taught aerobic classes on the platform along with my Aunt Elaine in the video.  It was fun to work with my family, but I love exercise and I wanted my exercise time to be separate from the workplace.  Nicole’s Spa Salon was successful for three years until the state of Maryland passed a law which required all operating health clubs to put up a $50,000 bond to cover membership.  Once again the government interfered with my dad’s business because we couldn’t come up with the large sum of money.  This caused the members to lose their club and we lost our business.  It was during this time period that I married my first husband Jim, and had my son, Joshua.  Jim and I moved to Chesterfield, VA, while my dad decided to move to Atlantic City to become a blackjack dealer.  He went to Dealer’s School and graduated but they wouldn’t give him a license to work in the casino because of financial difficulties in the past from losing the business.  Another stumbling block!  My mother’s back eventually healed and she was strong enough to work at a retail store Casual Corner in sales and management.  Dad struggled to get a decent job in New Jersey.  Many employers told my dad he was overqualified.  He worked as a night clerk in a hotel at the Brigantine Inn, but struggled to stay awake due to the medication he was taking and had trouble controlling his seizures and lost the job.  He then worked at a men’s clothing store in one of the hotels.  His seizures were getting worse as the tumor started to grow back and began irritating his brain.  Grand dad Vaun (his father) was living with us and helped pay the bills because my mother couldn’t do it all on her own.  Financially, it became increasingly difficult for my parents.  Eventually, they moved back to Salt Lake City and lived in the same house that my dad grew up in.  Years earlier, Dad had helped pay off the house when he was successful in New York.  Dad wanted to earn a living but things were not the same as his brain was not functioning normally.  He took early retirement and mom went to work full time at Casual Corner.  She had been lucky enough to get a transfer to Salt Lake City when they moved.  Dad had to have another brain surgery soon after they arrived in SLC.  This left him in a coma for three weeks.  By the third week, my mother was becoming overwhelmed.  She didn’t know what to do.  I asked her to come with me to the chapel inside the hospital and pray about it.  She explained to me that she had not prayed in many years.  I knew in my heart that Heavenly Father is always there waiting to hear from each of us.  He will listen to the voice of the most humble.  I shared that with her and convinced her to still pray and just say what was in her heart.  When she did this she felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.  I knew it would help calm her and bring her peace.  It was such a wonderful moment to watch her pray for the first time in my life.  Later she prayed more with my brother and her sister.  Not only did they pray for my father to come out of the coma, they also prayed for others in the hospital.  There was a young boy who had been in a coma for one week and another young girl who had been in one for three months.  They prayed for them to come out of their comas as well.  And then a miracle happened.  They all woke from their comas, including my father.  This experience strengthened my faith in prayer even more.  After he woke up, he worked very hard for three months in rehabilitation trying to gain back his normal body function, but the brain damage was too extensive and he was never the same again.  After my mom’s dad passed away they moved into my mother’s old home that she grew up in.  It’s funny how life put my parents back into the same homes they grew up in.  My mom’s mother needed to be cared for.  It was at this time my mother had to quit her job at Casual Corner to be a full time caretaker for both her mother and her husband.  Then came a time when my dad had to leave this life.  He was becoming more ill and we always thought the brain tumor was what he was going to die of, but it was actually lung cancer that ended his life.  He died on my mother’s birthday, November 1st.  Dad was in extreme pain and it was an answer to my mother’s prayers that he was able to return to his heavenly home.  He was only 63 years young.  Two years after the passing of my father, I asked my Uncle Jed (Aunt Elaine’s husband) to go through the endowment for my dad in the temple.  It was an unforgettable and wonderful experience for all of us.  It gave me and other family members peace knowing he will be able to finish his work in the next life. 

My mother's life story

MY MOTHER

My mother’s given name is Rae Dianne Richmond.  She was born

on November 1^st, 1936 in Salt Lake City during a snow storm.  Her parents told her she was a ray of sunshine coming down from Heaven on a big snowflake, so they named her Rae.  She had brown curly hair and was a cute but timid little girl.  She was born into the church and baptized at eight years old. My mother, you must understand how she feels about religion in general.  She is, and always has been a deeply spiritual person with Christian beliefs and values, but her father, grandfather, and uncles all smoked and drank coffee, and many church members judge them for doing so.  She felt that it did not matter what religion, she saw so much hypocrisy.  It seemed very shallow to her, and left her dispassionate about organized religions everywhere. She felt they were not judged by how good their character was.  It was Apostle Richard G. Scott that said, “Recognize the good in others not their stains.” 

She had a younger brother Eddie who was born with spina bifida and lived only 18 days.  It was a very traumatic time for her family and although doctors advised her mother not to have another baby right away, one year later her sister, Cindy was born.  Shortly, after Cindy's birth, when my mother was seven, she came down with a severe case of the flu which led to a sinus infection  The sulfa drug had just been developed and was considered at that time to be the new wonder drug, but unknown to everyone, she was allergic to sulfa.  So she was being treated with sulfa, but getting more and more sick every day.  The drug was destroying her blood cells and she became very anemic.  The doctors finally figured it out and she had to have painful liver shots every day for quite a long time to recover.  She almost did not make it.  Thanks to our Father in Heaven she is here.

Mom loved to be with her family and her extended family.  Family meant everything to her and she felt adored by them.  Their homes were always filled with love, laughter, and joy.  It was a wonderful childhood.  Her life was filled with fun and love, as well as music.   Her grandparents used to sing together, barbershop quartet style.  She was especially close to her Uncle Brin who was 11 years older and was much like a big brother to her.  Brin was a great dancer and taught my mom tap dance and ballroom dance.  When mom and dad went to mutual dances at the wards, everyone was very impressed with their moves.  At the age of 76, my mom still attends tap dance class once a week!

Mother became a little more active in school and junior high school.  She had grown into a lovely young woman.  She was a lady.  She did not smoke or drink or go around with the wrong crowd.  In school, she was a good student but struggled with dyslexia and it made her school years difficult and it was one of the reasons that she was shy.  Her problem with dyslexia always made her feel unintelligent, even though she is, in fact, a very intelligent woman.  At that time, schools did not know how to help students with dyslexia and teachers simply thought she wasn’t putting forth the effort.  Dad didn’t understand much about her problem with dyslexia either, and wasn’t concerned about it.

After school, most of her life consisted of being a homemaker.  She loved her job as a mother of four children.  Over the years, Dad opened a number of spas and health clubs, and she often modeled for his brochure photos.  She took dance classes before and after I was born.  Mom has a very creative personality and always had a knack for interior decorating.  She put it to good use in our homes.  Mom also has a great love for dogs, particularly small breeds, like Maltese and Poodles.  My parents’ marriage had some problems but they eventually worked them out through marriage counseling and therapy.  Their marriage was very happy until my dad’s illness. 

We lived in California when I was in middle school, and to help with the considerable cost of raising a family of four, my mother picked up a part-time retail job at JC Penney.  She left retail for some years to work with Dad at the health club, but as financial problems continued and my father's health declined, she eventually returned, this time to work full-time at Casual Corner in New Jersey.  During this time, she developed back problems and was often in severe pain.  However, having never worked a full time job in her life, she was very proud of her success in retail, and by the age of 50, was supporting the family. She was promoted to manager and won many sales and service awards.  (See picture) 

Later on in life, as my father’s illness grew worse, they moved back to SLC.  It was becoming too difficult for Mom to continue to be the sole source of support and care for Dad at the same time.  My dad’s sister Elaine very kindly offered the family home for them to live in, rent free.  It was the same house my dad grew up in on Wilson Avenue in Sugarhouse.  Mom got a transfer from her company and continued to work in SLC in retail management at Casual Corner.  At this point in time, Mom’s parents were aging rapidly and they needed her care as well.  This required 24/7 caregiving.  There were doctor appointments, medications to give and track, personal care, meals, as well as two households to maintain. And although the care demanded so much of her time, she was exhausted, she managed to continue working part-time at Casual Corner.  Mom’s sister Cindy lives in Logan and could only help out a couple of times a month.  My brother Chris and my sister in law Gayle and I helped her as well.  At 62, she had to take early retirement; it had all become too much for her.  After my grandfather and father passed away, she moved in with her mom to continue caring for her, as she could not live on her own any longer.  Although it was an extremely difficult time and she endured for many years (20 years) she would not have ever walked away.  Deep love for family and God’s help got her through.  She believes when the going gets tough, the tough get going.  You take what God gives and you do the best you can with it.

When my dad died, it was such a sad time for my mother, yet also a relief.  He died on her birthday, and it was said among family members, “It’s dad’s gift to you.  You no longer have to watch him suffer or care for him.”  She will always miss him and hold dear the good years they had, but after 20 years of terminal illness, it was time for him to go home to God.  Mom had said a prayer the night that he died for God to take him home.  There was nothing else that the world could do to help him.  Times of passing are so sad and final but there is a blessed relief when loved ones are suffering and you know they will never be well again. 

At their mother's funeral, my mother and Cindy gave a talk, and I'd like to share it here: 

“We never could have imagined that our darling mother’s passing could have been such a sweet experience.  Since that morning, we have reflected on the final weeks and days of her life.  We know absolutely that even though we were not always aware of it, God was leading us every step of the way.  We are eternally grateful for God’s loving hand and guidance through our difficult journey.  This has been such a profound spiritual experience, we feel compelled to share it.  We want all of our brothers and sisters under the Lord to know that God and Jesus Christ, our Savior are there and they are ever tenderly vigilant.  Mom’s last week was becoming more difficult for her.  She had some trouble swallowing and later on she experienced very labored breathing.  Her heart rate was very high.  Cindy and I would lay with her at night and wonder if her next breath would be her last.  We were amazed that her little heart could still go on beating.  She was also semi-comatose.  She was not able to communicate the last 3 days.  We kept talking to her, anyway, as the hospice workers told us that hearing is the last to go.  Wednesday morning we both woke up with the same question on our minds.  ‘Could we be the ones that were keeping her here?’  We felt we had let go of her intellectually but realized our spirits were holding on pretty tight.  We decided to speak our last goodbyes and share our love and thanks for her. We then knelt in prayer beside her and thanked the Lord for our wonderful mother and asked for his blessing.  It was a tender and deeply spiritual moment that we will cherish forever.  We noticed a tiny tear was in the corner of her eye and her chin and jaw quivered slightly as if she were sobbing quietly and saying goodbye to us.  It was so difficult to do, but we felt we must tell her it was okay for her to leave us.  We would be alright.  We didn’t welcome it, but we understood.  We left the room returning just minutes later to check on her.  We saw that her spirit was gone.  As we embraced, Cindy said, ‘She may be in the Savior’s arms right now.’ At that moment an image came to Rae’s mind of the Savior cradling our mother in his arms as he would a child.  Beyond them she could see beautiful green meadows with flowers and trees, golden sunlight and blue skies.  She knew that she was feeling ultimate peace.  Marion (our mother) loved, accepted and worshiped our Savior, Jesus Christ. She prayed constantly in her heart and left us a legacy of faith.  We’d like to express for her what we feel would be her testimony and wish for us.  From the Book of Mormon, 2 Nephi (10:14) a few lines ‘For I the Lord, the King of Heaven will be their king, and I will be a light unto them forever, that hear my words.’”

   

MOM AND DAD’S COURTSHIP

My parents actually met as children, when they became neighbors on Wilson Ave in Sugarhouse.  They were  eight and nine years old.  It was during the winter months when mother first saw a cute little boy playing on a mound of dirt in her back yard wearing a leather pilot jacket and an aviator cap.  Her parents were building a new home with the help of licensed contractors.  Her dad did most of the plumbing work and hardwood floors in the house.  She remembers her dad telling her to go pick up a pieces of wood to bring to him, helping him to lay the hardwood floor in the living room.  Her dad built the mantle as well and did as much as he could to help lower the cost of building a home.  Mom and dad were neighbors and their parents became very good close friends and their families did a lot of things together.  They were playmates but they did not date until in their teens.  Their interest in jazz music was one thing that connected them. In 1952, at 16 and 17 yrs of age, they were married.  (See picture).  During the early years of their marriage, my dad’s business was successful, and they travelled quite a bit.  They traveled to the Bahamas, Jamaica and Europe and sailed on many cruises.  Their marriage wasn’t perfect but who ever heard of a perfect marriage?  Over the years, they separated and reunited on six occassions, but still their marriage survived.  Their example showed that all marriages require work from both people.  My parent’s marriage lasted until dad died of brain and lung cancer in 1999.  They had been married 47 years.  When my dad died it was a very sad time for my mother and not a day goes by without thinking of him.  She misses him so much.  They had been friends since they were children and grew up and did everything together.  It is not often you hear of this very rare type of relationship they had.  Throughout mom’s loyalty, love endured.