My Conversion Story
When Joshua was 2 ½ years old, my ex-husband Jim and I discussed attending church. Together we tried to find a new church and religion. Unfortunately, Jim and I had different views on religion. Jim was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school. I was raised without religion in my life, but the funny thing about that is that I remember praying sometimes whenever I had difficulties. Looking back on that, I think it was the example of my extended Mormon family who prayed at the dinner table. So just having a Mormon background and learning from their example, I prayed and hoped that it would help me. Growing up, I prayed alone in my bedroom with the door closed. Being so young, I didn’t understand why they prayed, but I remember feeling love and comfort, and it gave me hope. I was never sure if there was a God, but I prayed anyway. I had a sincere desire to learn more about religion and its role in my life. I was determined to surround myself with good people who could uplift me and challenge me to be a better person. Our marriage was already on the rocks and on one particular day, again, we had an argument. I was very emotionally hurt and I prayed to the Lord about it because that had always brought me comfort. The next day missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints came to my home. Wow! Certainly nothing is a coincidence in the work of the Lord. The missionaries had a message to give me and it was the most important invitation to learn about Christ. I was pleasantly surprised by their visit and was excited to meet someone from my Mormon background. I wish I could remember their names and look them up and talk to them. I invited them into our home and listened to what they had to say. I felt the Spirit witness to me that they spoke the truth. The missionaries invited us to church and Jim was apprehensive about going but went a few times. Most Sundays, it was Joshua and I that went to church. When I read the Book of Mormon for the first time, I had never read scripture before and I was truly amazed at the stories in it. I sought spiritual confirmation of the truth. I hadn’t seen angels or witnessed a miracle or received a revelation, but the spirit told my heart the truth. Even when I did not yet understand or accept all the principles of the gospel, I accepted the Lord. I had a faith in prayer that carried me through periods of doubt. It was my prayers as a youngster that I recalled in my greatest need.
I was baptized shortly afterwards in May of 1988 by the missionaries who taught me the gospel. Jim did not want to read the book and he had mixed feelings about my baptism. However, he didn’t try to interfere with my decision and even came to watch my baptism. I opened the scriptures to Joseph Smith-History 1:14-17 where it describes how Joseph went to the grove to have a personal prayer: “I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me. It no sooner appeared than I found myself delivered…When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages.” Instantly I knew that Joseph Smith had indeed seen Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ. I am grateful that I was granted this witness of the truthfulness of the First Vision.
Jim and I separated after three years of marriage and eventually divorced two years later. I wanted to seek counseling but Jim was against it. We were not meant to be together as it takes two people to make a marriage work.
I moved to live with my parents in New Jersey. So much had interrupted my spiritual growth. My "testimony" of the gospel was still new. I was going through depression about the divorce and it was difficult to attend church as I simply did not feel like going. I eventually became inactive and went back to my old ways. I had never practiced going to church every Sunday and was not used to that lifestyle. The Word of Wisdom was very easy to commit to as I didn’t smoke or drink alcohol. I knew the church was true, but at the time then I wasn’t in a place where I could be 100% committed. I believed in the truthfulness of the gospel but faced the difficult task of transitioning into a new culture with new expectations. Sometimes I found myself asking, “Can I really do this?” “But when we live what we know, more knowledge and strength will come. The Lord will make of us what we could never make of ourselves.” The Lord knows us better than we know ourselves.
When I moved to Salt Lake City in 1992, I wanted to strengthen my spiritual status. I felt that I was missing something in my life and I was very aware that the happiness that I felt when I was baptized was now absent. It was at this time I was ready to be committed and become active in the church again. Josh and I went to church across the street from our basement apartment every Sunday. Also, dating life was bleak as I was not putting myself out where I could meet men of the same faith. So, I went to a singles ward at the Monument Park ward during the summer time when Joshua was away visiting his father in Georgia. I went to almost all of the fun activities that the ward put together and had so much fun making new friends. In August 1998, a man came into my life who I believe had a profound effect on me. I marveled at him. He was truly a Christ-like example. I decided then that I needed to prepare myself to go to the temple. I understood the importance and seriousness of the temple and I felt that I had to be ready to take upon those promises I had to make. I take the promises I make very seriously. It was good that I waited until the time was right for me. I learned that the temple is a place where we can perform baptisms for the dead, be sealed as families, and make higher covenants with Heavenly Father. On February 24th, 1999, I took my own endowments at the Bountiful Temple. I had my sister-in-law Gayle as my escort and my aunt and two cousins came as well. It was the most beautiful, joyous, and wonderful experience I have ever had. I understand why my relatives had suggested I take the early morning session at the Bountiful Temple. When I arrived to the Celestial room, the sun was beaming through the window. It was so beautiful! My sister-in-law said my face was glowing! I felt a warm blanket around me and it was at that moment I felt what it would be like to be wrapped in the love of our Comforter. I was emotionally overwhelmed. So many tears were coming down my face. I didn’t want to leave! When it was over, Gayle suggested we have lunch. I didn’t want to leave, so I chose the cafeteria in the temple. When I was driving home from the temple, I wanted to go back. I made a promise I would go back regularly as often as I can. I enjoyed being inside the temple where it was peaceful, loving, quiet, and away from the chaotic world.
I read a book called, “Teachings of Presidents of the Church…Brigham Young”. There is a chapter in the book that talked about the blessings of trials, chastening, and persecution. That chapter hit me hard. It read, “It is recorded that Jesus was made perfect through suffering. Why should we imagine for one moment that we can be prepared to enter into the kingdom of rest with him and the Father, without passing through similar ordeals?” This gave me a new perspective. Since it takes a lifetime of learning and growing, it is my hope to accomplish many things the Lord would have me do in this life. I know I have so much work to do. I read somewhere that so many people fear hard times. They go through their life solely seeking comfort and avoiding personal growth at all costs because it hurts. Life is like a choose-your-own-adventure book. We think we’d be on page 68, but we’re not. Others thought they’d be at page 71 today, but are really on page 49 instead. I believe it will still end well as long as you stay on a Christ-like route. Some choices I have made were positive and others were negative. The negative choices taught me lessons, and I learned from the consequences. They helped me mature and gave me understanding. Positive choices gave me freedom, happiness, improvement and confidence. So, as time went on, just consistently doing simple things, like attending church meetings, studying the scriptures, praying, and serving in callings, has helped me nourish my testimony. I learned about the gospel and grew “line upon line, precept upon precept”.
I am so grateful for the missionaries who came to my door and taught me the gospel. I would not be where I am today without the gospel in my life. The examples and teachings of Jesus Christ found in the scriptures is the way of life. I know that he is the way. I’ve been so fortunate to have met many kind people in my life. They were people from all walks of life. People who are kind make life a little brighter and make me want to be a better person. I love this church because it gives meaning to everything I do. Before this I felt like I was floating through life — doing nothing too profound, yet nothing too bad. I am so thankful for all of the wonderful people that have helped me get to this point in my earthly existence. This church has changed my life forever.
To my friends who want to know more about this church, I invite you to click on this link:
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